


Unwanted

by lalois



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Food Sex, Frustration, Light BDSM, M/M, One Shot, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6125287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalois/pseuds/lalois
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ohkura receives a lustful invitation from Ryo but once in his apartment, Ryo's behaviour gets weird and creepy. Not only does the drummer not know what his lover's up to, but also cannot escape... because he's literally bound there. Set during Jussai time.<br/>Originally written for LJ Kanjani Rabu Rabu exchange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwanted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jackie8er](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackie8er/gifts).



> Romance, smut with some BDSM, that is, a twisted tornporn (and food porn) story. Warning for some little bit of angst and introspection

**  


Summer 2014, Ryo’s apartment, Tokyo.

Ohkura sighed.

He wished he could scratch his nose, but he could not.

He wished he could at least shift a bit from the uncomfortable position, but he could not.

He tilted back his head, trying once more.

_“Uhm... Ryochan? … Ryochan?”_

His voice sounded terribly squeaky while echoing in the supposedly empty room.

He sighed again, letting his face plop back onto the pillow.

He wondered when Ryo would be back.

He wondered how in the world he himself could end up like that.

But he was not the one to give up to Ryo. Especially when interesting entertainment was next implied and, heck, it MUST, right?

But with Ryo being gone since what-seemed-like-forever, he was not sure anymore.

He sighed. Ryo was cruel.

He resolved in counting in his mind the mame daifuku sweets he had planned to buy later on his way to work, hoping he could –maybe- get some sleep.

But apparently, he could not.

He sighed for the nth time, this time cursing Ryo and his ideas, until the distant but clear noise of a door bursting open down the hallway caught Ohkura’s attention.

 _“Ah! Ryochan, is that you?”_ the drummer shouted “ _I haven't heard a thing since you left and I'm worr-”_

 _“Shut up!_ ” Ryo's hoarse voice grumbled in the distance.

The younger man heard Ryo bustle in his kitchen and he signed once more.

 _“Ryochan, I’m also hungry, by the way… wouldn’t you feed me?_ ” Ohkura trailed off, quite sure that of all things, Ryo couldn’t have cared less about his stomach, but trying was painless. He hoped so.

When he heard him make some other steps and disappear behind another slammed door, Ohkura’s face sank into the pillow once again and he sighed in utter desperation.

Apparently, Ryo was in a very bad mood that day.

Apparently, being tied up on the bed would lead to very unpleasant consequences for him, way more than expected.

A few minutes later, closer steps were finally approaching, so Ohkura tried with his best chirpy voice. Ryo sometimes liked that, maybe it would boost his pride and turn his bad mood into a more favourable one.

_“Ryochan, if you’re not feeding me – and I guess you aren’t going to - can you please at least untie me? It hurts and the muscles of my arms ache!”_

_“I should untie you for which purpose exactly, Ohkura?_ ” Ryo replied, in a very calm, emotionless voice, once he had reached the bedroom Ohkura was in “ _and why can’t you just keep quiet for a while, you moron?_

 _“How can I keep quiet when you get me blindfolded on my stomach with my wrists tied up on the bedpost?!_ ” Ohkura shrieked out. _“I thought we were having some kind of fun! “_

 _“We will.”_ Ryo sniggered.

_“We are not! I am not! You just left me all alone out of the blue, that makes no sense!”_

Ryo took his time before replying.

_“I realized I needed some things.”_

_“Oh.”_ Ohkura felt him plop on the mattress beside him. “ _So you ran out of condoms, that’s it. Well, I’m glad you-“_

 _“I never run out of condoms, you moron!”_ Ryo cried out, almost offended, playfully slapping Ohkura’s butt.

_“So what is it that you needed? Did you go out buying some handcuffs and a tickler?!”_

Ryo burst out laughing, and Ohkura smiled between himself. He was not that into sadistic sex, but at least he had managed to make Ryo cheer up a bit. That was something. One point for him.

 _“ If you behave we won’t be needing any of those”_ Ryo replied in a velvety voice, _“I’m a good guy, you know?”_

Ohkura did not agree, but he was far from complaining. The chemistry between them was so good it always managed to soothe Ryo’s frustration and his vaguely omnipresent bad moods.

“So t _he real question is: are you going to behave, Ohkura?”_

 _“Hey! I came straight when you asked me for a quickie, so do you really need me to answer that?_!” the drummer pouted.

 _“Good!”_ Ryo chuckled.

A sudden noise filled the room and Ohkura’s head rose again.

_“Ah! That’s my phone! Ryochan, can you please check that for me? Please, please!”_

_“I have a better idea: ignore it. Whoever it is, that can wait. You’re busy now.”_

_“ If you want Tadayoshi to behave…”_

_“Got it got it got it!”_ Ryo complained, getting up to get hold of the drummer’s mobile phone in his luxurious Vuitton bag. Ryo looked at the display for some long seconds, while the ringtone kept playing some RHCP’s tune.

“ _So? Who’s that?”_

_“Nobody important.”_

_“But who’s that?”_

Ryo opened the phone and once he had answered, he could hear Ohkura’s wails with one ear and Yokoyama’s voice with the other, on the other side of the call.

_> > I thought you’d be here by now, Ohkura! Where the heck are you?! Rehearsals are going to start right now and- <<_

_“Not coming,_ ” Ryo cut him off, in the same emotionless voice he had used before.

_> > Dok... Dokkun?! <<_

Ryo clicked the phone shut and shoved it back into Ohkura’s bag.

_“Who’s that?”_

The phone rang once again and Ryo cursed openly.

 _“Ryochan, who's that?!”_ Ohkura whined.

Ryo picked up the mobile back and Yokoyama's noisy voice pierced his auricle this time.

_> > Dokkun?! Will you please tell me what's going on?! Yesterday you suddenly asked Hina and me to meet with you and Ohkura way sooner than expected and then- <<_

_“It's as I told you,”_ Ryo coldly said, before putting one more conclusion to the conversation. He set the mobile settings into the off-dial ones, then went back to Ohkura, who might have been blindfolded, but wouldn't stop pouting anyway.

_“Ryochan, I'm getting quite pissed off at you, you know? Who was that?”_

_“No one you should worry of, as of now.”_

Ohkura tried to move, the gesture resulting in a painful shift of his tied arms, and he cursed.

 _“That was my phone!_ ” he shouted, on the sudden verge of anger, “ _and you answered and you even- Kyaahh! What are you doing?!”_

Ryo had started unbuttoning and lowering the drummer’s pants, much to Ohkura’s feeble protests.

 _“Getting started,”_ Ryo smirked “ _it’s really better when you’re this grumpy, Ohkura.”_

The drummer felt Ryo tug at his jeans and pull at them, leaving him in the boxer shorts that Ryo diligently slipped off him soon after that. Ohkura suffocated some other protests on the pillow, once he felt the fresh conditioned air of the room hitting the naked flesh of his lower body. Ryo had even removed his checkered socks. Sometimes he didn’t even care to undress him fully.

And no matter the roughness of Ryo’s manners: he hated to admit he was starting to feel aroused, just by having Ryo dispose freely of such a defenseless him. He was quite used in being the one bottoming as far as sex was concerned; it would normally not displease him at all, but this time his condition felt almost more real than usual.

“ _Are you fucking me on all fours?_ ” he asked lightly.

Ryo giggled. “ _Are you wishing for me to do so?”_

_“I don’t know what to wish anymore, Ryochan. You’re being weird. Creepier than usual.”_

Said compliment was worth one more severe slap onto one of his buttocks, and the drummer let out a small cry.

He mentally decided sadistic people were too much of a weirdos for him. He hated unnecessary pain. He wished that people who liked sadistic sex were aware of their mental problems. He really wished they could, because he was not so sure Ryo was.

 _“Who was on the phone before?_ ” Ohkura casually asked once again.

 _“I recommend you to worry more about your naked ass, as of now_ ,” Ryo chirped.

_“We're talking about my mobile, Ryochan. Who was that?”_

_“You're really a pain in the ass, Ohkura. And so is Yokoyama-kun.”_

Ohkura frowned behind his blindfold. _“Senpai… What for?”_

_“He likes wasting his time, I suppose. “_

_“Uhm… I'm seeing him and Shin-chan this afternoon. What if there are some problems coming up? What time is it?”_

_“There’s plenty of time for everything, Ohkura. Now shut up and stop squishing your little brain. Stay quiet until I will be done with you, won’t you? Then you can meet our senpais whenever you want to do whatever thing you wish.”_

_“... Are you mad at me, Ryochan?_ ” the drummer said in a low, sad voice.

 _“What is it exactly that makes you think like so?”_ Ryo coolly asked.

But Ohkura did not have the time for a proper reply, for the guitarist suddenly made him part his legs wide and palmed his buttcheeks, much to Ohkura's gape of pleasure which became some soft purred moans, when he felt Ryo's hot mouth against his skin.

Ryo’s teeth sank not too gently into his flesh and Ohkura held his breath, startled by the weird mismatching between Ryo's words and his unpredictable manners.

He heard him slide his fingers into the crack of his butt and he wished he could scream aloud.

He knew Ryo loved his butt.

He suspected Ryo being pretty unaware of how much he himself appreciated the guitarist for being so fond of his butt.

He loved that. And he hated displaying it so openly, being such a weakling.  
_“Ryochan…”_

Ryo kissed his skin and Ohkura guessed his mate must have located his favourite mole, and together with Ryo's hand moving under his stomach and brushing faintly the growing arousal, the drummer was not wondering anymore why he's actually tied up, unable to face his lover. He enjoyed Ryo's tongue over his sensitive skin, at least until Ryo pulled abruptly away, leaving him highly unsatisfied.

He groaned with disappointment. He felt at a loss.

Why did Ryo seem to love the idea of leading him to the highest level of sexual excitement while leaving him utterly frustrated next?

It felt very much like a sort of punishment and at the same time, it did not feel like punishment at all. But it was frustrating indeed.

He guessed the creepiest Ryo would maybe enjoy the growing tension, but he had a limit he felt too close to, and it was not yet the time. And he had no idea whether the reason, but he felt Ryo still distant and cold.

_“Ryochan, I don't want you to stop. Go back caressing me. Please.”_

However tied, he shook his hips and hoped Ryo would appreciate his buttcheeks bouncing a little.

Fake boobs, he liked calling them.

_“So you’re begging me, Ohkura?”_

Ohkura's face sank back on the pillow, resting on one cheekbone.

 _“You'll get highly satisfied if I ever dare to say yes, aren't you?_ ” he grumbled.

Ryo did not reply. Ohkura felt his weight leave the bed and come back right next. The guitarist seemed to be fiddling with something, and next thing Ohkura realized was his own loud scream, when something really cold burned his buttocks at once.

 _“KYAAAAA!!!! IT’S ICED!!!”_ he squealed aloud, and Ryo burst out sneering like crazy. As his whole body clenched in shock, the iced sensation seemed to cool off a bit and melt at the same time.

“ _Of course it would feel like so,”_ Ryo said, “ _It's ice cream, you moron!”_

_“What?!”_

Something liquid did indeed seem to leak down, dripping from in between his buttocks and onto the sheets, and Ohkura squeaked, his muscles tightening again.

 _“What do you mean with ice cream?!”_ he managed to ask, shock sweeping away his confusion.

Thinking back at Ryo leaving him alone before, Ohkura was now sorting out a reason behind his sudden disappearance, even though Ryo's motives stayed totally obscure.

 _“What do you mean with ice cream?!”_ Ryo mocked him in falsetto, _“You like ice cream and you like licking it, don't you?”_

Ryo didn't wait for a reply but he wouldn't have had any, and Ohkura's words died in his throat when he felt his mate's rough tongue tasting the sweet right from his butt.

He couldn't help but sigh subtly, resolving to moan aloud and press then his face against the pillow when Ryo's teeth bit his flesh, sucking hard from him.  
It felt gross. And it felt good. And the more Ryo added new spoonful of cold ice cream onto the heated skin of his lower back, his butt and his inner thighs, the more he wished Ryo's hot tongue would sweep it away.

He shivered when his lover pulled up the rim of his shirt and his spine was bare under Ryo's skilled hands and piercing gaze.

He shivered even more when each of the tiny bumps of his vertebrae was rewarded an iced gift by generous callouses hands, and droplets fell on his sides and died down onto the sheets.

He wondered how he himself would have tasted in Ryo's mouth and he purred, for Ryo actually sucked up a bit from him, where melted ice cream had collected within the crack of his buttocks, and took a bite of Ohkura's fair skin into his lips.

The drummer groaned heavily, shifting on the bed as to better accommodate to Ryo's palms.

Unable to touch, unable to see, it felt like the senses he had been left with would intensify straight away, exacerbating his need for an even stronger groping.

He wanted Ryo's hands on his cock, on his mouth, on his everything, the consciousness of his own responding member making him almost dizzy.

He coughed up and surrendered.

 _“I want to suck from your fingers, Ryochan_ ,” he asked in a thick voice, unable to hide his desire anymore. But Ryo's fingers stuck by his sides, scraping the skin.

 _“A foody turned into a food is unable to taste himself_ ,” Ryo explained, “T _hat's punishment, isn't it?”_

 _“You're really cruel,”_ Ohkura whined.

 _“It's way more cruel what you did, Ohkura ,”_ Ryo quickly replied.

 _“But I did nothing!_ ” the drummer cried out, totally unable to get at Ryo's mind, “ _why the punishment, Ryochan?!_ ”

He got no reply, but he heard a slight rustle he realized being Ryo slipping off his clothes, for what he felt next was an undoubtedly hard cock pounding against his butt.

The harsh contrast between Ryo's hotness and his own too cold skin made him hold his breath and hiss through his teeth.

Ryo rubbed himself repeatedly against him, and he felt his own arousal ache in response.

_“Ryochan, I need you to-“_

_“I don't care a fuck about your needs, Ohkura_ ,” Ryo grumbled low, and he started quickly fingering his mate.

The drummer hissed aloud, protesting more for the coldness of Ryo's fingers than for the harsh treatment he was already quite accustomed to.

He guessed Ryo had taken some big weird liking to that ice-cream thing, and cursed for having it pushed into his insides instead of being spoonful shoved straight down his mouth. If he thought deeply at it, it was not funny at all, but Ryo did always quite know what he was about.

Quick and skilled, he hinted for the drummer to spread his legs wider before replacing his fingers with his cock and aiming for some first good and effective thrust.

Ohkura cried out aloud, his voice going shrilling as Ryo pushed himself more into him, his member cold from ice cream and hot from arousal at the same time.

It felt intoxicating.

It felt acute and painful and amazing, as his lover made his body shake incessantly, clash against the sheets, and from his wet lips escaped words he'd seriously preferred never to confess.

And suddenly, he did not really care a damn thing anymore about Ryo's subtle fantasies and his sadistic wish for a punishment. Ryo was right. He was close, so close he didn't even care about the sharp pain in the muscles of his tied arms and onto his nape, his neck slumped a bit unnaturally over the pillow.

He wanted Ryo to fill him completely and he could feel Ryo was close as well, his thrusts still erratic but quicker and wilder.

He raised his head, resting on his chin to speak up, panting hard and shaking: “ _Ryochan, I'm.._.” he choked, “ _oh Ryochan, please, I can't hold... I can't-“_

And then Ryo was suddenly gone.

He had been so quick in rolling off him that for one crazy instant Ohkura thought of being not conscious enough of the happening, his hard member still pounding violently unsatisfied between his stomach and the sheets. But when he felt cold, right where the previous moment Ryo's hot body was pressing against his own, Ohkura realized there was definitely something bad going on.

_“ ... Ryochan? What happened? Are you not feeling okay? I was-“_

_“I'm perfectly okay_ ,” Ryo coldly said, but his ragged breath and a grumbled moan told Ohkura his lover had just finished himself off right beside him.

Without him.

He froze, and he would have stared shocked at Ryo, should he had not been blindfolded.

He was so speechless, so mentally exhausted and sexually frustrated he did not care when tears started stinging his lids and for once, he was glad the blindfold concealed his sadness even if his voice did clearly not.

 _“What's... what's going on with you, Ryochan?_ ” he blurted out in a cracked voice. “ _Why did you have sex on your own in the end, humiliating me this much?!”_

Ryo did not answer, so Ohkura raised his voice, shouting.

_“How could you do this to me?! Am I no good anymore?!”_

Ryo's reply came only after Ohkura's words had long stopped echoing.

_“Does it hurt?”_

_“... Eh?”_

_“Does it hurt enough?”_

_“What... what do you mean?”_

Ryo turned him abruptly on his back and as soon as he felt so, Ohkura let out a terrible scream.

 _“Don't touch me!_ ” he cried, closing his legs, his tied arms also aching. Though blindfolded, he could sense Ryo's intense gaze on his whole shivering body and he felt exposed and ashamed of his pitiful condition.

 _“Does it feel cold enough, deep inside?_ ” He heard Ryo's voice say.

 _“You're scary, Ryochan.._.” Ohkura added, his voice lower but steadier, “ _you're scary and I have no idea what you're talking about, so please let me go. Let me go.”_

_“Why should I obey? Why should I do as you wish when you did not?”_

_“Let me go, Ryochan,_ ” the taller guy repeated.

 _“But maybe you've got an idea about how cold it feels inside, haven't you? So cold, like the fucking ice cream I shoved in your fucking ass!_ ” Ryo cried out, barely listening to him.

 _“Let me go, Ryochan,_ ” the drummer asked once again, keeping his voice as calm as he could.

 _“I can't let go, Ohkura!_ ” Ryo shouted, his strong male voice filling the room and startling Ohkura, “ _that's because you're the one giving up that I can't let go! I hate you!”_

 _“Wouldn't you stop talking nonsense?!_ ” Ohkura asked, raising his voice in a(an) insanely high-pitched tone that left him panting hard next.

He felt Ryo coming closer and he instinctively crawled aside, but Ryo simply pulled his blindfold down his face and he was able to see again.

And first thing he saw after some blur, it was Ryo carrying his very same teary eyes and the saddest expression ever.  
He could tell just by looking at those black misty orbs how much must have the guitarist felt emotionally disturbed by something he was not able to detect yet.

Next thing he realized, his mate was still wearing a plain shirt, a detail which clashed with his habit of stripping off his clothes completely even before any hint of sex was in the air.

Ohkura’s brain felt really fuzzy. His pride was broken, his insides did hurt and his heart felt like missing from his own place. He could not do but stare back at Ryo with a terrified, sad look onto his face, the shadows of some tears streaking his cheeks.

 _“ It was you who ruined everything, Ohkura_ ,” Ryo said, speaking softly, rage still subtle in his voice.  
“ _I ruined what, exactly?_ ” Ohkura asked in a whisper, “ _I can't remember doing-“_

_“Us.”_

Ohkura looked puzzled and he blinked several times.

“ _TORN. It's us. Not them_ ,” Ryo said, shaking his head “ _Us only. That fucking song is ours and you just cannot let it go so easily! How could you?!”_

_“With "them" do you mean-“_

_“And you even told them to do as they pleased!_ ” Ryo added, raising his voice again “ _I hate you, Ohkura, I hate you and I wish I could smash your face in, instead of faking a love making!”_

 _“Did you really fake it right now?_ ” Ohkura asked quietly.

As Ryo could not reply and he turned his face to one side, Ohkura knew his real answer would be a "no" and the pain in his own heart lessened a little, though he was far from grasping the whole situation yet.

_“Do you mean Shin-chan and Yokoyama-kun? Why are you so mad at me, then?”_

As understanding started to settle within him, Ohkura was suddenly struck by a thought.

 _“And you told him "not coming"! When you talked to Yokoyama-kun before, you said... you told him…_ ” his mouth opened back and forth, _“you were talking about my appointment, right? How could you? Ryochan, how could you-“_

 _“And how could you arrange an appointment with the two of them without consulting me before, Ohkura?!_ ” Ryo burst out crying aloud “ _how could YOU?!”_

Ohkura was speechless. Was Ryo that crazy? Had he maybe had some drugs before?

_“What the heck are YOU talking about, Ryochan? Why should I consult you when-“_

_“It's our song, you moron! It's OURS, but you decided it was not important to have me in, didn't you?!”_

_“I didn't decide a damn thing, Ryochan_ ,” Ohkura objected, “ _it was you who did! When... When Yokoyama senpai asked you for a helping hand, you said you were not interested!_ ” the drummer croaked. “ _You grumbled low, but you did. I was there as well. I heard.”_

Ryo flared at him. He opened his mouth but said nothing, apparently unable to explain, and then he tried again, his voice thick with pain.

_“They were terrified when we all read the results of the poll. And I was, as well. I really had hoped they could give it up at that time, or when I was asked. Apparently, Yokoyama-kun does fear my reaction after all, and so does Hina. They do know it's OUR song. But they did not refuse the task… and then you even agreed on helping them!” Ryo stopped, looking up “I hated you. All of you! I didn't want the song we wrote together being ridiculed in such a way. No matter the effort, I can't stand it._  
And you didn't mind at all, being so carefree about it.  
And you didn't care a fuck about me either… and I don't even know if you do anymore.” 

_“This is not true. And I should be the one asking, after what you did befor_ e,” Ohkura slowly said, locking his eyes with Ryo's, “ _you hurt me a lot, Ryochan. And I'm not talking about physical pain.”_

Ryo did not tear his gaze away, nor replied.

Ohkura knew, now, he was hurt as well, but he could not easily forget what he had just been put into. His wrists still ached from the ongoing tie, after all.

“ _You could have told me_ ,” the drummer hissed, shaking his arms in vain, “ _you could have told me a lot before this and-“_

 _“I couldn't, you fucker!_ ” Ryo hissed back, glaring at him, “ _If I could, do you honestly thing I'd go this far, to this extent?!”_

Ohkura pouted, looking angrily at his bandmate. He tended sometimes to forget that Ryo had his own personal way for dealing with problems, sex being his favourite; the quickest and most effective one for him.

_“So are you really over me now, for this shitty thing only? That's why you dragged me in here today? To say "thank you, goodbye, please accept my revenge" in the worst possible way ever?! I thought we were more than this, Ryochan! More than some shared sex and some stupid arguments!”_

Ryo grimaced and plopped beside him on the bed, staring at his bound figure without a word.

 _“I hate i_ t,” he said then, speaking softly, his voice cracked, fidgeting with the sheets. “ _Every time I'm unable to solve things just by speaking up frankly, I hate it. Myself. I blurt out mean things only when they're honestly useless, don't I?”_

He looked up at his band mate.

_“I'm screwed up, Ohkura. And I know it's not your fault.”_

Ohkura's furrow grew wider.

_“Should this count as an answer, Ryochan?”_

_“No, it's not,_ ” Ryo said, and with one swift, skilled movement, he took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor, staring at Ohkura.

And Ohkura stared back as his gaze shifted from Ryo's face to his naked body and rested over his toned chest, where it was impossible missing to notice something that made him hold his breath and skip a heartbeat.  
There were big black signs all over his pecs and stomach, running wildly from Ryo's collarbones and down to his lower abs.

They were more than mere signs. However shaky and clumsy, it was a writing that had been combined to form a sentence Ohkura read with a hoarse voice.

_“... I'm Tacchon's torn toy…”_

It looked like a pun, but after all they had gone through that morning, Ohkura knew it was nothing that light.  
Ryo had sealed himself as his own only with the help of some markers.

 _“Untie me,_ ” the drummer asked in a whisper, tugging at his blocked wrists.

_“I'm not done w-“_

_“I SAID UNTIE ME!_ ” Ohkura screamed, and Ryo jolted in the bed and glared at him. “ _I want to touch you_ ,” the younger man added, in a softer tone.

Ryo snorted but did as he was told, and Ohkura did not even sigh from relief when his sore muscles were left free from the long constraint. His arms stretched out and his hands reached for Ryo’s chest, tracing it all with his tips, his throat dry in shock.

“ _You hate it, every time our silly band mates do attempt to scribble on you, whenever you go around shirtless.”_

 _“Yeah_ ,” Ryo confirmed him, grimacing.

“ _Then…_ ”

Ohkura did not ask his further question. He already had the answer, somehow, and this made his heart clench terribly, as he leaned over and put his arms loosely around Ryo's neck, gaze not diverting from the giant black marks.  
When he decided something was going wrong with him, Ryo could be self-destructive; he could be to them both.

“ _...I don't hate you…_ ” his voice said, and it echoed strangely with Ryo’s. As he looked up and found black orbs staring aghast at him, he realized Ryo had said the very same words at the same time.

And he didn’t have to wonder how or why his band mate lips locked with his right after that.

It was natural, after all.

They kissed. And they kissed again. And they kissed more, as their bodies pressed against one another and each felt the heat and the fibrillation spreading through the other's bare skin.

For a brief moment Ohkura wished Ryo could be still fully clothed, for he would at least have been able to strip him from all his layers, literally and not, raw passion burning hot his whole anguish and fears. Making him free of every damn thing that seemed to consume his mind on alternate days.

And if he looked back at that insane morning and all those previous days, he felt insanely stupid and guilty for not having grasped Ryo's derangement at all.

And if he could not, who would?

‘ I'm sorry’ he shouted in his mind, the hotness of their make-out still on the verge of driving them crazy ‘ I'm sorry, Ryochan, I'm so sorry. I'm also at fault. I'm sorry.’

And suddenly, he couldn't care less anymore about the ice-cream, the punishment, the pain and the humiliation behind such a silly motive.

Ryo had needed him, and he needed to be there, one way or another, making him come to the surface.  
He broke off, panting hard, and he looked at Ryo straight in the eyes and said it again.

 _“I cannot hate you, Ryochan, I'm sorry_ ,” Ohkura instinctively blurted out, even though he knew he had little to be sorry for. _“I'm sorry I've had no idea about this torn thing, Ryochan. I'm sorry you felt like you could not even tell me. I'm sorry we had to go through all of this.”_

He paused, before adding one more sentence.

 _“And I'm sorry you feel like not forgiving me for being air-headed as usual, because I'm not over you for sure. I could never be_.”

Ryo’s reply took the form of another heated kiss, his arms way too strong around his neck, to the point Ohkura could feel him grasping every single strand of hair of his nape, claiming every little bit of him as his own.

Ryo’s breath was hot and mellow against his mouth, even after they had kissed for such a long time their lips felt worn and they ached.

“ _Make me ride you,_ ” Ryo whispered on his lips, “ _I owe you.._.” he added, his mouth trailing hot kisses down Ohkura's throat and collarbone then.

“ _You don’t have to.._.” Ohkura protested, but Ryo had already started taking care of his manhood and the drummer could not help but sigh heavily and let his cock become hard and greedy under his lover’s touch.

He fell back on the bed when Ryo pushed him so, and he watched mesmerized as his man straddled him and dedicated his whole attention to his utmost pleasure, coal black eyes locked to his own, giving his lust quite away. It felt so different from Ryo's usual rough manners and so different from the behaviour he had been forced to experience before, as well.

Ryo looked completely lost into him, inner despair stifled by a way too intense desire.

And as Ohkura filled him thoroughly and screamed aloud the only one name he would mate with, Ryo's body stretched out and towered beautifully above his, so much it was seriously breathtaking to the younger man's eyes.  
The black-haired man collapsed not too gently over the drummer's chest and would not stop panting, nor did Ohkura, and for a long moment only their merged, ragged breath would count as the thickest conversation ever.

Ohkura lifted one hand, which went through Ryo's messed hair, much to the latter’s low muttering of contentment.  
Ryo snuggled his face deeper against Ohkura's blade, sighing from relief, and the drummer knew that also Ryo knew their sex had indeed felt like lovemaking.

It had tasted like feelings.

He could even sense the stinging sensation churning Ryo's stomach, because it was his own.

And however unpredicted and possibly unwanted, it was the most pleasurable kind of pain he had experienced for a very long time, deep inside.

As he kept twisting his fingers in Ryo's short black bangs, he felt it was right the time to say something he'd never really talked about with Ryo, its consequences also cleansing the guitarist's torn feelings away:

_“I love it with you, Ryochan... I really love it.”_

Ryo said nothing, and Ohkura held his breath for a moment before going on.

 _“I never doubted us nor looked down at being the TORN couple, and I never will, Ryochan,”_ he softly said, “ _and I don't want this melody to carry more than what it is supposed to imply, but at the same time it's way more than one song to me also, you know?”_

Ryo looked up and Ohkura met his beautiful black eyes.

_“You started looking at me back then. I mean, really looking at me. Seeing me as a man you'd be straightforwardly interested into, sexually speaking. But then, a real relationship was established between you and me, even if none of us dared to call it aloud like so.”_

He paused and his hand reached out for Ryo's jaw line, tracing it with his fingertips.

 _“We hung out together, we had vacations, we fought, we had sex and fun and laughed and I thought you could tell how happy I was. How happy I still am, after all these years, because it seems we’re still by each other’s side._  
How would I possibly look down at all of this, Ryochan?  
Us as TORN is more than one song,” Ohkura severely repeated.

 _“I do hope so_ ,” Ryo had to admit through gritted teeth, “ _but I hate it anyway.”_

 _“And that's exactly why I don't mind if Shin-chan and Yokoyama-kun are up to offer their own version of our song,_ ” Ohkura explained, pulling away some wet bangs from Ryo’s eyes, “ _I’m not scared. It's not like I got you stolen by them. You’re here after all. Here with m_ e.”

The drummer smiled.

_“And our meaning is also untouched. There’s no other Tadayoshi-Ohkura-Ryo-Nishikido out there.”_

Ryo propped himself better up on one elbow, the corner of one eye checking his lover’s sensual figure.

_“So... you do approve of them, in the end.”_

_“You said it yourself, they looked scared like hell,”_ Ohkura insisted. “ _They know you will be judging them more severely than anyone else. By knowing all of this, do you honestly reckon they will not be going to do their best?”_

Ryo’s eyes narrowed, but then he nodded slowly. And judging by his keen sense of observation, Ohkura saw and felt they were not so cloudy anymore.

 _“I just wanted to be of help, because I know how it feels when we think inadequately at ourselves_ ,” he concluded.

Ryo nodded again and started brushing the drummer’s stomach.

 _“Sorry,_ ” he said after a pause.

_“What for?”_

_“Orgasm denial. Before_ ,” he shifted, going back to cradle himself between Ohkura’s arms.

 _“Never mind. It did hurt here_ ,” Ohkura admitted, guiding Ryo’s hand towards his own heart, “ _more than down there.”_

 _“ It felt nothing great without you_ ,” Ryo admitted, and Ohkura leaned in to kiss his temple.

 _“Thanks_ ,” he tweeted sweetly, “ _but maybe next time we can try out the bondage thing once again if you want. It was not that bad_ ,” he pouted. “ _To one condition, though: me looking straight at you. “_

Ryo chuckled softly, looking up at him.

 _“We can work on it, if you’d like to_ ,” he said, and as Ohkura pretended to be pondering the idea with a curious pout on his lips, Ryo also leaned over to kiss him hard on the mouth.

“ _... It looks like I can't stay away, either_ ,” Ryo muttered on his mouth, then sat up on the bed, looking away. “ _You know, the manager asked me if we should include Pi and Kame's Seishun Amigo within the medley we are supposed to sing. I told him he doesn’t need me to approve of that, but apparently he's still waiting for my consent especially.”_  
Ryo paused, then looked up.

_“Well, if that’s the case, I want to sing it with you.”_

Ohkura blinked.

He knew what that song meant for Ryo, given his deep friendship with Yamapi. He remembered the two old friends had even performed it together once, at an old Johnny's countdown. And his heart clenched again.

 _“I'd be... honoured_ ,” he replied in a croaked voice.

Ryo smiled shyly, shaking his head.

“ _It was this easy, seriously… I can’t believe it…”_

 _“Yes it was,”_ Ohkura bluntly said, “ _and you should trust me more, you moron.”_

Ryo merely sneered, then crouched to pick up Ohkura’s shirt and threw it onto the drummer’s face.

_“You'd better get ready to go now.”_

_“What for?”_ Ohkura whined, glaring at him, “t _here’s plenty of time and I DO need a shower after this ice cream play, and it’s not like your chest is even better…”_

_“I had re-arranged your schedule with Yoko and Hina in order for you to miss the rehearsals, you know?”_

_“You did what?!_ ” Ohkura spluttered, realizing that Ryo’s conspiracy was meant in doing more than hung the phone down at Yokoyama’s callings, _“You're really evil, Ryochan!”_

“ _Sure I am. But I'm also pretty sure they won't give up so easily, so_ -“

A loud ringtone suddenly invaded the room and cut him off.

 _“I had fucking silenced your phone befor_ e,” Ryo grumbled, glaring at Ohkura, who simply shrugged.

 _“Well, I'm really going to buy a new one soon, for it has become a little rebel lately. It looks like someone I know_ ,” he hinted, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he locked eyes with Ryo once again.

Ryo crossed the bed and reached for Ohkura's bag, rummaging inside. He grinned when he saw the display, and glanced up at the drummer, who had picked up the ice cream box from the bed and had started shoving spoonful of it ungracefully down his mouth.

 _“Uh, guess who's calling,”_ Ryo said. Ohkura motioned for him to pick up, his mouth still full with the ice cream leftovers.

_> > Dokkun… <<_

Ryo heard his senpai sigh heavily on the phone, trying hard to collect all his might.

 _“You’re really a bugger, senpai,_ ” Ryo said, “ _I thought you had figured it out, by now, that Ohkura and me were having some little private fun together, so-“_

 _> > Hina and me… <<_ Yoko interrupted him, >> _well, we did, but we're REALLY. NOT. I mean, we’re having no fun at all with this fucking TORN cover. AND... UH... We need you here. Possibly. Please. <<_

 _“Uhm... are you by any change begging me, senpai?”_ Ryo mocked him. He heard Yokoyama curse, also.

 _> > I am. For Hina's sake, not mine, <<_ Yokoyama quickly added, >> _he's really going berserk about teaching me these freaking sexy steps. I got preached, you know? Because I can’t do it. We cannot handle it without the two of you,_ << Yokoyama insisted, >> _and I suppose you know you’re the very last person I would ask this. But seriously, Hina is having a stroke if you’re not arriving soon. <<_

As he sighed again through the phone, Ryo burst out giggling and beamed at Ohkura, who was looking curiously at him, wiping away some ice cream from the corner of his mouth.

 _“Don’t worry,_ ” Ryo told Yokoyama. _“TORN is coming back.”_

_*owari*_

_**_

Despite the NC17 theme, this was hard to write ^^''  
Thanks for taking the time to read it fully, and please remember comments are always appreciated :)


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